Are you an approval junkie?
Do you get paralyzed and find yourself unable to make decisions without the approval of others? Do you need constant reassurance that your relationships are ok? Do you look for positive cues from others before putting your viewpoint forward? If so, you may be trapped by the Need to Please system.
On the surface, pleasing sounds like a good thing, right? You’re helping others, being a good corporate citizen, keeping your family on track. The distinction between pleasing and service is that when we’re in the mindset of service, we are grounded in our core values and giving from a place of purpose. We know who we are, we realize our strengths and choose to share those strengths from a place of love and contribution. We recognize when we’re tired and we set limits so that we can take care of ourselves.
But, when we’re pleasing – we’re not connected to our own core values and purpose. We are noticing what brings positive attention to us, we are responding to keeping the compliments coming. In a way, pleasing is a false sense that we’re presenting to the world if we’re saying “yes” on the outside while on the inside we’re really saying “no”.
Pleasing is a cultural phenomenon that greatly impacts women and men. An often unconscious pattern, that’s recycled and passed down through generations and organizational leaders. As we transform this pattern of pleasing into leadership, service, and undiluted contribution, women are entering into full and equal partnership with men and other women, they are connecting to their authenticity and creating a safe space for others to do the same, and both men and women are able to bring their unique and complementary gifts to the solutions our planet needs with mutual regard and respect.
Watch this short video to learn about the Need to Please System.
What is the ONE BIG THING you might have more of in you life once you release your own need to please?
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